“ The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge. ”
- Demetri Martin- Copy
- 1.4K
“ I love women, but I feel like you can’t trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog’s name. Then I said, ‘Does he bite?’ She said, ‘No.’ And I said, ‘Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?’ Liar. ”
- Demetri Martin- Copy
- 1.2K
“ I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital. ”
- Demetri Martin- Copy
- 830
- 1