“ My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 331
“ If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 2.4K
“ Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 2.3K
“ Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 1.3K
“ Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 2K
“ When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win. Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist (19061998) ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 765
“ My brother-in-law... I wish he would learn a trade, so we'd know what kind of work he was out of. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 3.8K
“ I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 2.9K
“ I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 2.7K
“ I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in- law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 3.2K
“ Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop. - Henny Youngman. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 2.1K
“ I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in- law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 2K
“ I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 2.7K
“ I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 1.9K
“ I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in- law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 2.9K
“ I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 3.5K
“ I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 3.8K
“ My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ”
- Henny Youngman- Copy
- 1.2K
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