Quotes of Milton Berle - somelinesforyou

“ Laughter is an instant vacation. ”

- Milton Berle

“ The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired. ”

- Milton Berle

“ If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. ”

- Milton Berle

“ If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. ”

- Milton Berle

“ If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. ”

- Milton Berle

“ It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now. ”

- Milton Berle

“ If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. ”

- Milton Berle

“ The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn’t stop until you get to school. ”

- Milton Berle

“ If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ”

- Milton Berle

“ Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient ”

- Milton Berle

“ If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door ”

- Milton Berle

“ Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter. ”

- Milton Berle

“ I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome. ”

- Milton Berle

“ We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. ”

- Milton Berle

“ If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. ”

- Milton Berle

“ You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. ”

- Milton Berle

“ A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. ”

- Milton Berle

“ Committee — a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. ”

- Milton Berle

“ Committee: a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. ”

- Milton Berle

“ A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. ”

- Milton Berle

“ The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring. ”

- Milton Berle

“ You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. ”

- Milton Berle

“ Committee — a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. ”

- Milton Berle

“ You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. ”

- Milton Berle

“ Los Angeles is the home of the three little white lies: "The Ferrari is paid for," "The mortgage is assumable," and "It's just a cold sore! ”

- Milton Berle

“ I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? ”

- Milton Berle

“ A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, Who Should we notify in case of an accident? He mulls it over and then writes, Anybody in sight!. ”

- Milton Berle

“ Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter. ”

- Milton Berle

“ We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. ”

- Milton Berle

“ A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living. ”

- Milton Berle
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