“ Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 1.8K
“ There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 3.5K
“ When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 3.7K
“ If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 3.7K
“ I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 2.5K
“ If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 3.9K
“ When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 2.2K
“ I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 167
“ A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 3.8K
“ If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 612
“ If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 3.1K
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