“ While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 3.9K
“ Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 2.6K
“ Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 150
“ Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 2.6K
“ While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 4K
“ While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 113
“ While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 2.7K
“ Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words large or size with rear end. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 3.4K
“ Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 3.8K
“ Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 188
“ Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 3.7K
“ Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 1.7K
“ While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 3.3K
“ Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 2.6K
“ While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 425
“ While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 839
“ Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 2.2K
“ To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 783
“ Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 3.9K
“ Being wealthy when no one else is is like being the only one at the party with a drink. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 2.5K
“ Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 1.3K
“ There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it,... Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 2.2K
“ Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 1.3K
“ Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 622
“ Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 375
“ Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 726
“ Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison. ”
- Tim Allen- Copy
- 206
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