Quotes of W. C. Fields - somelinesforyou

“ There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son-of-a bitch, I forget it. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it? ”

- W. C. Fields

“ If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Start off everyday with a simple smile and get it over with. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that… ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Never give a sucker an even break. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. ”

- W. C. Fields

“ Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ”

- W. C. Fields
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • 11
  • 12