“ Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 24
“ Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 271
“ I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son-of-a bitch, I forget it. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 2.5K
“ You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 2K
“ I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 967
“ Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 3.1K
“ Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 1.7K
“ Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 3.8K
“ Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 3.6K
“ Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 2.3K
“ Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 2.8K
“ The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 614
“ We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that… ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 2.7K
“ My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 1.3K
“ Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ”
- W. C. Fields- Copy
- 465
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