Quotes of Woody Allen - somelinesforyou

“ How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? ”

- Woody Allen

“ If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. ”

- Woody Allen

“ To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. ”

- Woody Allen

“ Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. ”

- Woody Allen

“ I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. ”

- Woody Allen

“ As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. ”

- Woody Allen

“ Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon. ”

- Woody Allen

“ I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. ”

- Woody Allen

“ Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. ”

- Woody Allen

“ If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. ”

- Woody Allen

“ I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ”

- Woody Allen

“ Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem. ”

- Woody Allen

“ I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. ”

- Woody Allen

“ Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. ”

- Woody Allen

“ The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it. ”

- Woody Allen

“ Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. ”

- Woody Allen

“ Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing. ”

- Woody Allen

“ 80% of success is showing up. ”

- Woody Allen

“ Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. ”

- Woody Allen

“ If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative. ”

- Woody Allen

“ I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ”

- Woody Allen

“ I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ”

- Woody Allen

“ If you’re not failing now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative. ”

- Woody Allen

“ I love nature, I just don’t want to get any of it on me. ”

- Woody Allen

“ If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative. ”

- Woody Allen

“ I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ”

- Woody Allen

“ If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank. ”

- Woody Allen

“ If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. ”

- Woody Allen

“ If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank. ”

- Woody Allen

“ If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. ”

- Woody Allen
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