“ But these are days we dream about, when the sunlight paints us goldAnd this apartment could not be prettier as we danced up there alone. ”
- Conor Oberst- Copy
- 3.7K
“ I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I got a call from a woman in France who said Cut it out! ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 3.2K
“ I no longer want to live in an apartment furnished with forklifts and backhoes. ”
- Nicholson Baker- Copy
- 3K
“ I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!". ”
- Stephen Wright- Copy
- 3.2K
“ The thing I like about my body is that it's strong. I can move furniture around my apartment. I can ride my horse… I can play basketball. It's a well functioning machine. ”
- Cindy Crawford- Copy
- 3.2K
“ My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. ”
- Stephen Wright- Copy
- 225
“ He's a very passionate guy,... I sublet his apartment to be nearer to the guy I was dating. Maybe I should do a movie about that. ”
- David Hunt- Copy
- 3.7K
“ My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 2.3K
“ I think a lot of players from the USA could come to the premiership. They started there with a blank piece of paper, and have got it right. They have more kids playing Soccer, as they call it over there, than any other sport, but the major league soccer, will find it hard to compete with the likes of American Football, Basketball and Baseball. ”
- Richard Gough- Copy
- 208
“ My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever... Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want 'em to. I'm like, 'Hey, hold on fellas - Let me hold one of you.'. ”
- Mitch Hedberg- Copy
- 2.7K
“ I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down and that made me angry 'cause I like loud music... so when he knocked on the wall, I'd mess with his head. I'd say "Go around! I cannot open the wall! I dunno if you have a door on your side but over here there's nothin'… ”
- Mitch Hedberg- Copy
- 484
“ Our location manager sent me photos of different possibilities, and I picked out my favorite, which was this apartment building at Mason and Green,... I sent it to Leslie, and she said, 'That's my apartment building! That's literally where I lived in San Francisco… ”
- Muddy Waters- Copy
- 1.3K
“ If nations always moved from one set of furnished rooms to another — and always into a better set — things might be easier, but the trouble is that there is no one to prepare the new rooms. The future is worse than the ocean — there is nothing there… ”
- Alexander Herzen- Copy
- 1.1K
“ We had one lady,... who relied on an electric scooter when she was outside of her apartment and by the end of the 50 week program she was able to walk to the neighborhood grocery store and back. ”
- Rebecca Johnson- Copy
- 3.4K
“ We received a letter from a lady who was incensed about my moral depravity, as though I was destroying the underpinnings of society. ”
- Graham Chapman- Copy
- 146
“ It could be a lifestyle suite devoted to exercise or to love...but you have to have a vision. ”
- Martha Stewart- Copy
- 1.1K
“ I know that atmosphere of the Parisian apartment building, with the twin menaces of the concierge on the ground floor and the landlord upstairs. ”
- Roman Polanski- Copy
- 562
“ Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates… When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 310
“ At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment. ”
- Tina Fey- Copy
- 3.2K
“ A vacant mind invites dangerous inmates, as a deserted mansion tempts wandering outcasts to enter and take up their abode in its desolate apartments. ”
- Nicholas Hilliard- Copy
- 2.7K
“ I started out by believing God for a newer car than the one I was driving. I started out believing God for a nicer apartment than I had. Then I moved up. ”
- Jim Bakker- Copy
- 521
“ Should not every apartment in which man dwells be lofty enough to create some obscurity overhead, where flickering shadows may play at evening about the rafters? ”
- Henry David Thoreau- Copy
- 3.5K
“ Such is the miraculous nature of the future of exiles: what is first uttered in the impotence of an overheated apartment becomes the fate of nations. ”
- Salman Rushdie- Copy
- 1.5K
“ I never socialized with singers. It's very dangerous if you work with opera… I don't think that in 30 years a singer has entered my apartment. ”
- Rudolf Bing- Copy
- 2.9K
“ My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you? ”
- Stephen Wright- Copy
- 183
“ I have a picture of the Pont Neuf on a wall in my apartment, but I know that Paris is really on the closet shelf, in the box next to the sleeping bag, with the rest of my diaries. ”
- Thomas Mallon- Copy
- 1.2K
- 1
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