“ Having a child is liking getting a tattoo…on your face. You better be committed. ”
- Eat Pray Love Screenplay- Copy
- 780
“ Great parenting lies somewhere between ‘don’t do that!’ and ‘ah, what the hell!’ ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 3.6K
“ Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist. ”
- Michael Levine- Copy
- 2K
“ Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. ”
- Tina Fey- Copy
- 407
“ Mother (n.) : One person who does the work of twenty. For free. ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 3.6K
“ You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. ”
- Franklin P. Jones- Copy
- 2.2K
“ Yes, having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. ”
- Bill Cosby- Copy
- 968
“ Dearest children: If you don’t want your nap, can mommy have it? ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 2.1K
“ I don’t know whether they should say “You have a baby” or “The baby has you”. ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 1.7K
“ I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I’ve done my job. ”
- Roseanne Barr- Copy
- 3.6K
“ Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless. ”
- Tina Fey- Copy
- 2.6K
“ You know your life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation. ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 592
“ It is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch. They will believe anything you say. How do you not prank such innocence? ”
- John Stewart- Copy
- 1.7K
“ A two. year. old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 1.4K
“ No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. ”
- Bill Cosby- Copy
- 3.7K
“ Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you. ”
- Ray Romano- Copy
- 3.9K
“ There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you. ”
- Peter De Vries- Copy
- 487
“ I always worry about the safety of my children. Especially of the daughter who is talking back to me right now. ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 3.1K
“ Now the thing about having a baby — and I can’t be the first person to have noticed this — is that thereafter you have it. ”
- Jean Kerr- Copy
- 2.9K
“ If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ”
- Milton Berle- Copy
- 1.5K
“ Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage. ”
- Marcelene Cox- Copy
- 3.6K
“ Children aren’t happy without something to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for. ”
- Ogden Nash- Copy
- 1.4K
“ Parenting is saying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Oddly enough, that is the definition of insanity. Coincidence? I think not! ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 2.6K
“ It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. ”
- Barbara Kingsolver- Copy
- 516
“ Kids have so much energy because they siphon it out of their parents like midget gasoline thieves. ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 2.8K
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