“ For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza! ”
- Jay Leno- Copy
- 170
“ How can you do the moonwalk and ask a woman to dance. Hey baby lets dance… cya later. ”
- Eddie Murphy- Copy
- 1.8K
“ Something inside of me just said 'Hey, wait a minute, I want to beat him,' and I just took off. ”
- Steve Prefontaine- Copy
- 124
“ If people think I am gay, yeah, hey that doesn't bother me. Not at all. What would people think? To me I am such a heterosexual guy. It doesn't even, I don't even think about it. ”
- Jason Priestley- Copy
- 3.3K
“ Hey, Dennis, this is Mike! Kick me, please! I'll settle for the price of a set of golf clubs. ”
- Mike Royko- Copy
- 2.8K
“ When you say I wrote a program that crashed Windows, people just stare at you blankly and say Hey, I got those with the system, for free. ”
- Linus Torvalds- Copy
- 1.3K
“ I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, Hey, maybe I wrote that. ”
- Steven Wright- Copy
- 3.7K
“ Fifteen men on the dead man's chest — Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! ”
- Robert Louis Stevenson- Copy
- 290
“ But when I came, alas, to wive, With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, By swaggering could I never thrive, For the rain it raineth every day. ”
- William Shakespeare- Copy
- 2.8K
“ Alas, alas, that ever love was sin!I ever followed natural inclinationUnder the power of my constellationAnd was unable to deny, in truth,My chamber of Venus to a likely youth. ”
- Geoffrey Chaucer- Copy
- 2.1K
“ Aah! Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! Ow. Oww! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow! ”
- Homer Simpson- Copy
- 2.3K
“ It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones! ”
- Richard Jeni- Copy
- 1.4K
“ Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with "Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.". ”
- Craig Kilborn- Copy
- 3.5K
“ As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job. ”
- Roseanne Barr- Copy
- 694
“ A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, "Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.". ”
- Dennis Miller- Copy
- 429
“ I know, it was a little bit out of control, but hey. It was all fun. ”
- Elisha Cuthbert- Copy
- 1.9K
“ Hey, the other night your tanks came right up towards the house, is this not a violation of what you promised us, yes or no? ”
- David Koresh- Copy
- 1.9K
“ Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign money, Kerry might pick him. Pick him? Hey, for $50 million, Kerry will marry him. ”
- Jay Leno- Copy
- 3.9K
“ I think it can be fun to be single and date-like when you don't want a relationship. Or when you've just gotten out of a relationship, and, after get over the initial shock, your thinking, Hey, it's kind of cool being single. ”
- Breckin Meyer- Copy
- 2.8K
“ America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat rooms. I can see why: you got computer sex, you can download pornography, people are making dates with 10 year-olds. Hey, what's this? A Pepsi ad? They're ruining the integrity of the Internet! ”
- Jay Leno- Copy
- 1.9K
“ Bright Eyes, Light Eyes! Daughter of a Fay! I had not been a married wife a twelvemonth and a day, I had not nursed my little one a month upon my knee, When down among the blue bell banks rose elfins three times three: hey griped me by the raven hair, I could not cry for fear, They put a hempen rope around my waist and dragged me here; They made me sit and give thee suck as mortal mothers can, Bright Eyes, Light Eyes! strange and weak and wan! ”
- Robert Williams Buchanan- Copy
- 3.2K
“ Failure really isn't terrible if you can say to yourself, hey, I know I'm gonna be successful at what I want to do someday. Failure doesn't become a big hangup then because it's only temporary. If failure is absolute, then it would be a disaster, but as long as it's only temporary you can just go and achieve almost anything. ”
- Jerry Della Femina- Copy
- 1.5K
“ The Trojans lost the war because they fell for a really dumb trick. hey, there's a gigantic wooden horse outside and all the Greeks have left. Let's bring it inside! Not a formula for long-term survival. Now if they had formed a task force to study the Trojan Horse and report back to a committee, everyone wouldn't have been massacred… Who says middle management is useless? ”
- Adam C. Engst- Copy
- 346
“ The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lay down on some seaweed and roll around in it until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go hey, I'm Vine Man. ”
- Jack Handey- Copy
- 1.7K
“ Before the show I was a real paperback-by-the-pool sort of girl. I'd backpacked through Europe and modeled in South Africa, but I would never have ventured out on a puddle-jumper, then a bus ride, then a two-hour boat trip up a river through the jungle to see Belizean ruins… ”
- Brooke Burke- Copy
- 308
“ Some of our friends came and sat in with us, and it was just so much fun. We said, Hey, let's do this once in a while. We did them every year for a while, then we took it on the road. We've done eighteen now, I think. ”
- Charlie Daniels- Copy
- 988
- 1