Quotes of Humorist - somelinesforyou

“ At 20 years of age the will reigns, at 30 the wit, at 40 the judgment. ”

- Benjamin Franklin

“ Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. ”

- Ambrose Bierce

“ In order to win you must be prepared to lose something. And leave one or two cards showing. ”

- Van Morrison

“ If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. ”

- Francis Bacon

“ Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. ”

- Josh Billings

“ I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, "Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!" Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself. ”

- Robert Orben

“ The Cardinal is at his wit's end — it is true that he had not far to go. ”

- Lord Byron

“ Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. ”

- Bible

“ There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. ”

- Will Rogers

“ Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide. ”

- Erma Bombeck

“ There are people who can talk sensibly about a controversial issue; they're called humorists. ”

- Cullen Hightower

“ Your wit's too hot, it speeds too fast, 'twill tire. ”

- William Shakespeare

“ My feelings towards Scott Card are pretty mixed. Politically, he and I are pretty far apart. ”

- Cory Doctorow

“ Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade. ”

- Noel Coward

“ Cards were at first for benefits designed: sent to amuse, not to enslave the mind. ”

- David Garrick

“ The next best thing to being witty one's self, is to be able to quote another's wit. ”

- Christian Nestell Bovee

“ Have you summoned your wits from wool-gathering? ”

- Thomas Middleton

“ You cannot fashion a wit out of two half-wits. ”

- Neil Kinnock

“ Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will. ”

- Jawaharlal Nehru

“ He who has provoked the shaft of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it. ”

- Samuel Johnson

“ There's a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words. ”

- Dorothy Parker

“ Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound's mouth; it catches. ”

- William Shakespeare

“ Their heads sometimes so little that there is no room for wit; sometimes so long, that there is no wit for so much room. ”

- Thomas Fuller

“ I was brought up with psychics and tarot cards. My mum was always told I was going to be in a boy band and be famous as a singer. ”

- Lee Ryan

“ Wit, now and then, struck smartly, shows a spark. ”

- William Cowper

“ Your wit is always leading you beyond bounds; if Monsieur de Treville heard you, you would repent of speaking thus. ”

- Alexandre Dumas

“ True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home. ”

- John Hay

“ Surprise is so essential an ingredient of wit that no wit will bear repetition. ”

- Sydney Smith

“ Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. ”

- Will Rogers

“ Life is like a hand of cards. You have to play the hand you're dealt, you can't win by folding, and sometimes you must take chances in order to win. ”

- Mike Conner
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