“ I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him? ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 286
“ France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper. ”
- Billy Wilder- Copy
- 2.9K
“ Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school. ”
- Dave Barry- Copy
- 3.8K
“ Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars. ”
- Fred Allen- Copy
- 3.8K
“ There are three signs of old age: loss of memory... I forget the other two. ”
- Red Skelton- Copy
- 797
“ There are three signs of senility. The first sign is that a man forgets his theorems. The second sign is that he forgets to zip up. The third sign is that he forgets to zip down. ”
- Stanislaw Ulam- Copy
- 977
“ My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age. ”
- Robert Orben- Copy
- 1.5K
“ Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached. ”
- Jacob Braude- Copy
- 2.1K
“ A man is a person that will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item she doesn't want. ”
- William Binger- Copy
- 4K
“ Look at me! Look at me! Look at me NOW! It is fun to have fun But you have to know how. ”
- Dr. Seuss- Copy
- 2.7K
“ It is fun to have money only if it can help others, but distributing money in a way that makes a difference is a difficult and wonderful challenge. ”
- Kenneth N. Dayton- Copy
- 455
“ Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I'd never used it. I'm 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s. ”
- Ben Elton- Copy
- 1.8K
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