Quotes of Jack Handey

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.

- Jack Handey

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“ The only shortcut I have found to life is to sharpen my teeth on the bones of the wise. ”

- Vic Stah Milien

“ Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. ”

- Joan Crawford

“ About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all. ”

- Rita Mae Brown

“ Remember when your heart is empty, don’t fill it with lies and deception. ”

- RJ Intindola

“ Tucker strokes my hair. There's something so tender about the gesture. It might as well have been him whispering I love you. ”

- Cynthia Hand

“ The most successful men in the end are those whose success is the result of steady accretion. ”

- Alexander Graham Bell

“ Education must not simply teach work – it must teach Life. ”

- W. E. B. Du Bois

“ There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them. ”

- Phyllis Bottome

“ Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night. That is how galaxies are made. ”

- Tyler Kent White

“ I find it odd the greed of mankind. People only like you for as long as they perceive they can get what they want from you. Or for as long as they perceive you are who they want you to be. But I like people for all of their changing surprises, the thoughts in their heads, the warmth that changes to cold and the cold that changes to warmth... for being human. The rawness of being human delights me. ”

- C. JoyBell C.

“ You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway. ”

- Steve Maraboli

“ The one that’s different often has the odds stacked against them but usually ends up with the biggest rewards so it’s always worth it. ”

- TorronLee Dewar

“ You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. ”

- Muhammad Ali

“ Every man is a boyfriend. But some people do not have the ability to become husbands. ”

- Sajal Ahmed

“ Now, I return to this young fellow. And the communication I have got to make is, that he has great expectations. ”

- Charles Dickens

“ Love is blind, they say–but isn’t it more that love makes us see too much? Isn’t it more that love floods our brain with sights and sounds, so that everything looks bigger, brighter, more lovely than ever before? ”

- Susan Fletcher Eve Green

“ Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. Your really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. ”

- Lucille Ball

“ Do I care about pleasure? Yes. But I don't believe in happiness. ”

- Tatiana Vedenska

“ Confusion, obsession, and potential love walk handinhand. ”

- Ashli and Trisha Edwards

“ Every day is your entire life. ”

- Mike Stagnitta

“ So don't you worry your pretty little mind because people throw rocks at things that shine. [Ours] ”

- Taylor Swift

“ If you suddenly stumble upon the right door, you will not be able to recognize that it is right. ”

- Osho

“ Dream so big you get uncomfortable telling smallminded people. ”

- Praharsh Prasoon

“ I guess that’s just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up. ”

- Lauren Oliver